🌿 Age-Based Signs of Stress
Younger Children (6–10):
- More clingy than usual
- Tantrums or emotional outbursts
- Complaints like stomachaches or headaches
Tweens/Teens (11–18):
- Withdrawal or spending more time alone
- Irritability or mood swings
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- Loss of interest in activities
🌿 When Stress Hits, Remember:
1. Pause
- Don’t react immediately
- Take 3–5 deep breaths
2. Identify
- What is causing the stress?
- Is it immediate or ongoing?
3. Choose a response
- Talk it out
- Take a break
- Reframe the situation
4. Use support
- Family
- Friends
- Mentors
5. Reset
- Sleep
- Exercise
- Quiet time
👉 Respond, don’t react.
🌿 Connection Before Correction
When children are stressed, they need connection before correction.
Example:
Instead of:
- “Go finish your homework right now.”
Try:
- “You seem really frustrated. Want to take a quick break together first?”
👉 This helps reduce conflict and builds trust.
🌿 “Calm-Down Toolkit” for Kids
This isn’t a punishment space—it’s a place to help your child reset.
Example:
Create a “Calm-Down Space”
Include:
- A quiet corner
- A soft blanket or pillow
- Paper and crayons
- A stress ball or small toy
🌿 Co-Regulation Strategy
Children learn to calm down by borrowing our calm.
Simple tool:
- Sit near your child
- Speak softly
- Breathe slowly (they often match you)
Example:
“Let’s take a few slow breaths together.”
👉 This is extremely practical and powerful.
🌿 Name the Feeling
Kids often act out because they don’t have words for their feelings.
Say:
- “Are you feeling frustrated?”
- “That seems really disappointing.”
- “It looks like you’re overwhelmed.”
👉 This helps children:
- understand emotions
- feel validated
- calm down faster
🌿 Daily Connection Habit
“Spend 5–10 minutes a day of one-on-one time with your child—no phones, no distractions.”
Ideas:
- talk before bed
- sit together after school
- quick walk or snack time
👉 This reduces stress before it builds up.
🌿 Don’t Rush to Fix
Instead of fixing, try:
- Listening first
- Asking: “What do you think would help?”
- Letting them problem-solve
👉 This builds resilience and confidence.
🌿 Practice Activity
“What Would You Say?”
Scenario:
“Your child says: ‘I hate school. I’m not going back.’”
Ask yourself:
- “What would you normally say?”
A better response:
Example:
“That sounds really hard. Want to tell me what happened?”
🌿 What NOT to Say
Examples of what to avoid
- “You’re fine.”
- “It’s not a big deal.”
- “Just calm down.”
Instead:
- “I can see this is really hard for you.”
🌿 Takeaway
If you remember one thing: when your child is stressed, focus on listening and connection first
🌿 Questions to ask yourself?
Adults
- What is causing stress right now?
- How does this stress show up?
- ☐ Irritability
- ☐ Anxiety
- ☐ Fatigue
- ☐ Avoidance
- ☐ Other: __________
- What thoughts are going through your mind?
- What is one healthy way to respond?
- Who can support you?
- Action Step (Do this today)
Teens
- What’s stressing me out right now?
- How am I reacting?
- ☐ Overthinking
- ☐ Snapping at people
- ☐ Avoiding things
- ☐ Shutting down
- What’s actually in my control?
- What’s NOT in my control?
- Better response I can try:
- One thing I’ll do today:
Children
- What made me upset today?
- ✏️ Draw or write it
- How did my body feel?
- 😡 Mad
- 😢 Sad
- 😟 Worried
- 😴 Tired
- What can I do to feel better?
- ☐ Talk to someone
- ☐ Take deep breaths
- ☐ Play or draw
- ☐ Take a break
- Who helps me when I feel this way?